Have you ever felt like killing people? The feeling approaches you
slowly and a creepy thought grasps your mind. You look at somebody and
realize that if heshe was an evil person and you got to know it you
would definitely take a pleasure to let that person join the immensity
of the dark. Then you imagine the way you would kill the sucker and feel
that calmness reaches your consciousness. Not excitement, not satisfaction -
but a simple calmness.
And then I stop these corny thoughts - I'm
not a maniac after all. I love people. I help them willingly. I even
have some friends I would die for if necessary.
So what's wrong with
me? What am I to do with the evil inside me? I don't know. And as it
often is I'm too much a coward to set this question to anybody who loves
me and is eager to help. Just not to frighten them by retelling the
dream about dabbling them with gas and setting them on fire I had last
night.