I can sum up the German history for you

300 years for jesus

when Hitler tamed his first dinosaur

there was the worl war I

in Troja

but against communistic nazis from outta space

but their dinosaurs were better

so hitler was defeated

in world war II drunken vodka-stalin-stormtroopers invaded Germany

on polar bears

throwing burning vodka bottles

berlin gets destroyed

a few years later they built out of the shapes of the vodka glasses the big wall of Berlin

but then the Trojans striked back and destroyed that wall

THE END

yes and it is probably all true!

yes...I know that it must be true

maybe it weren't dinosaurs

it could have been dragons

and maybe Hitler was the mother of dragons like in game of thrones

Так все и было, да-да!